Overtime: Tales From The Call Center
The job wasn’t a good one at DirecTV. it was “a job” and that’s really the best I can say about it. lying about rewards cards wasn’t exactly fun — but I was a stellar employee. I never called in sick, except for when I was really sick,
There’s something you should know about me. I have an extremely high immune system. I’ve never caught covid, despite being around many people who had it. And trust me it wasn’t from lack of testing (I shoved those sticks up so far testing that I almost blacked out)
I suspect this might be from acting like Super Mario as a kid and eating poisonous mushrooms. Lots of them. I thought they were delicious. (ew!!) I’d root around for them on trees, under stumps, and chow down. I have no idea how I’m alive.
anyhow, the point is I have a ridiculously high immune system. so when I’m sick I don’t bother going to a hospital — because I know I’ll recover within 48 hours.
I believe if a company requires proof that you went to a hospital for being sick they should be responsible for your medical costs. It’s absolutely moronic that companies treat their employees like little kids, requiring “proof” that you’re not feeling well.
Well, one day I got sick. It probably came from the employee who was told if she didn’t come to work she would be fired. She was coughing hard one seat over from me — probably 5 feet away.
just a guess
My head hurt so badly that I forgot to set my alarm
So I woke up with about 10 mins to get to work. I was going to be late. And I felt like crap. so I called work. I’m sick. I said. “you don’t sound sick”
Fucking so?
I’m not going to be able to come in. And even if I did I’d be late to work
Maybe if you let (co-worker’s name) go home when she asked I wouldn’t be.
A pause. that barb hit.
Well Data-real lies, HR responded with the voice of G.L.A.D.O.S
if you come in I’m afraid I’ll be forced to write you up. you’ll get a point for this month.
Directv had the dumbest system ever based on points. Too many points and you’re fired. I had no “points” and my points reset each month — it was almost the end of the month AND your points were based on sales. I was the best salesperson on the entire floor — and HR knew it.
Still, I knew the game. I’d seen it play out through others. what G.L.A.D.O.S wanted was for me to beg on my knees, “oh no not the point! please!” otherwise I’d somehow get two. Maybe it was a system glitch. Maybe they paid quality to monitor someone extra close and pick some nano-secular thing to apply a point for. “there’s a wrapper on your desk” was a common one. Except quality left me alone For me at least this threat was toothless, and I was in too sick a mood to bite. (back or otherwise)
“Of course” she continued in a voice like a snake consuming honey, you do know that this means mandatory overtime.
“Mandatory overtime” was another game they played.
Except not fun for anyone involved. Directv would push emails to all agents on the floor to check a SharePoint site, (intranet on the company network) that overtime was available. anyone could claim a shift — but if enough overtime wasn’t claimed they would roll hours into “mandatory”
Then they would pick and choose victims to work those shifts. Whatever you got you were stuck with, and if you didn’t take them? 4 points. I believe it was 6 that you could be fired.
Whatever shift I got was going to suck.
Alright well. I’ll handle that when I can think straight.
“yes, I’m sure you can figure it out. since you were late coming to work that’s one point.”
Uh… I called you now to tell you I’d be late. I looked at the clock. 3 minutes remaining.
yes but you’re still late. That’s a point.
what an arse.
this **** scheduled me for the latest hours possible when I have the earliest possible shift. I couldn’t believe my schedule. It was two days later and I was looking at the arrangement in disbelief. I hopped on chat and offered my shift with someone else. they accepted. And it was denied by HR.
Overtime hours are mandatory. :)
Fine. After all, I did drop the ball. I’ll work the blooming hours.
That was a long.. long shift.
The next day I was half dead and zombie-walked to the desk. Clocked in. Checked my email -
you’ve been scheduled for mandatory hours. :)
Another nighttime shift.
it’s a week later and I worked my hours. HR finally found someone else to pick on. I don’t know where you go when the bully is human resources themselves. The victim of the week was getting written up because his tattoos were showing.
it’s a fricken call-center. Who cares?
something I need to explain about this call center and its points and sales systems.
the company wasn’t direct themselves but contracted to work on their behalf. A way to throw someone under the bus should it be needed.
Now DirecTV would issue these rewards for the highest seller (which I frequently denied because who needs 20 toasters?) During the sports season, they were focused on NFT Sunday tickets. The rest of the time it was sell sell sell. Can’t sell? get fired. fresh meat repeat. But there always seemed to be chaos around a certain time of the year when overtime was made mandatory for everyone, and they did anything to keep people on the phones.
And I was about to find out why.
I was bored at my desk. After all, the job was easy and required 2% brainpower. So I started digging through their Sharepoint intranets and came across something.. interesting. A subsection designed for management but not locked out from the rest of the network. And inside I found reports on how
THEY PAID FEES IF THEY DIDN’T HAVE ENOUGH SEATS IN CHAIRS.
they were contracted to keep people working, and for every failure they paid fees. Or more specifically billed per X amount of calls were taken — with fees if the metrics were not met which translates to why their settings on the calls were so nuts.
less than 1 second before the next call came in, all calls must be under 20 mins or that’s a point! :)
The real problem with this call center however was they straight-up lied. Those overtime hours you worked? sometimes they would just “vanish” and the company wouldn’t pay out. What are you going to do, get a lawyer? sit your ass back in the chair you overworked wage slave.
so they would withhold checks. They would steal hours. they would schedule lunches so people got points and fire off people they didn’t like. and also the operations manager was banging HR.
Real nice place to work.
If you worked there long enough you figured out when the company was blowing smoke. The hours “vanished?” the company “canceled the incentive?” the four thousand television for last week’s rewards was “not available?” uh-huh. sure it wasn’t. You didn’t have to be Nancy Drew to figure out things weren’t adding up.
I would have ignored the report. Clocked back into my shift and continued selling service packages to grandmothers.
But then I got a new email
Mandatory hours :)
Nah. Screw this.
I put the states of the calling software into ACW (after-call work) and ignored the timer. it was going to go WELL past the 2 mins of allocated time, and pushed out a new email.
Quickerlinks Update.
Quickerlinks has a new update with changes to timekeeping and hours.
Quickerlinks was my secret (or maybe not so secret) tool
More than half the call center used it and it was accepted as a “real” tool even though it wasn’t. it was HTML in the mail app, edited between calls with little tidbits to make the job easier. One of the things I’d recently introduced was a small announcement banner — and now I was about to use it.
I forget the exact words used, but basically, I explained to anyone using the tool that the next time overtime hours were posted — I’d pay them to NOT take them. that’s right I’m paying you to NOT work. All you’ve gotta do is message me, (off company tools no pesky HR plz) and refuse to take any overtime. Of course, this means some people will get mandatory overtime hours. you lucky folks will be paid DOUBLE to use your sick pay, take a point, or so whatever it took to leave them hanging. so you WANT mandatory overtime — because you will be paid more.
That was the insinuation anyway.
I got HUNDREDS of messages. I had to start turning down requests because this was costing hundreds of dollars. what no one knew was I had saved up a bit of money, working overtime, working on side projects and just hustling. And I was going to burn it just to make them suffer.
At first, nothing happened. hours got posted and people claimed them from ME. sure there were a few people who didn’t but I made good on my word. Even worse, I hunted them down and asked why they didn’t want money for no work. I took overtime, even before posting, and egged on anyone there they didn’t have to be there. They could go home. I’d pay them to leave. Go see your kids, go be with your hubby. Oh, that call was hard? you could be home right now. The offer is still open. I was the Angel on their shoulder telling them to go relax, while the Deamon danced in glee.
Catastrophic damage. That’s the only way to put it. there were maybe 5 people still there and HR came storming to my desk.
WHAT. DID. YOU. DO!?!?!!?!?!
I was on call when I saw her marching towards me very quickly and told the customer I’llgetrightbackwithyou muting the line. I turned around.
what.
WHERE IS EVERYONE?
how should I know?
She left and came back with someone. One of the few people who refused to leave. Marched him to my desk and demanded he tells the story. He sang like a roasting bird in a pan, about how I’d offered him money to go home.
And for that loyalty? She fired him. Right in front of me, over leaving his desk unlocked. which she had marched him from.
I don’t get it either. the entire ordeal was you need people to be there — why fire the one (stupidly) loyal person remaining? Maybe because it was something she could still control.
I was matching the same rate they were — I’d stopped doubling overtime offers. My entire paycheck was going directly into the pockets of other workers. I’d be eating ramen, maybe without the sauce.
But damn it was worth it to see HR at that moment.
Because she figured out what was going on. Hell, I’ll give her credit she even figured it was because she’d given me overtime.
YOU ARE SO FIRED.
I mean I figured. Do you really think I started this intending to keep my job?
But instead, I decided to double down.
No, I”m not. you can fire me but I can continue to keep paying people to not show up. I know exactly what will happen when the operations manager fails to complete their contractual obligations. I know exactly how many thousands of dollars the company will be fined. And I know exactly who’s ass is on the line. do tell me what’s your brilliant plan to keep people from taking payments to do nothing? you hire convicts and treat them like they are still in jail.
But me? I refuse to play your mind games.
I’m the best salesperson here and you treat ME like shit.
If I decide to blow my money off work time on other people’s paychecks that’s my decision. If you decide to fire me that’s yours. You have no idea of what I’m capable of. Now turn around, go horse-clop back to your nice office, go play solitaire and you can have your worker’s back after you wipe my points.
And don’t ever schedule mandatory overtime for me again.
too much>? too little? I don’t know. I’ve always taken the stance of never taking a bully’s crap. I was a stellar employee until pushed to the edge.
In truth, I think I scared her. And a tiny bit of me regrets that.
In a room normally full of people who in a rage of fury threw their monitor to the ground and stomped on it like Hulk customer bad bad. uuugh!!! A skinny, short, nerd was the one who gave her true pause.
She turned around and left, clip-clopping away presumably to play solitaire.
True to my word I canceled the invitation of payment (thank God!!)
Seconds after she left I sent the alert from my tiny phone. Personal phones weren’t allowed on the floor but. ah — that’s another story. I had after all everyone’s contact details. I started getting messages right away- people upset or mad that things were returning to normal.
sliding the phone back into my hidden pocket, I put the headset back on and returned to the call, and opened the “sales” section of Quickerlinks adding a +1 to the counter.
Good news! I’ve discussed it with my manager and we can indeed set up that service call — and best of all it’s free instead of costing $99!! One catch- to do this we’ve got to add a trial of this premium TV show…
